This is kind of old, about a week now, but I just now saw it and thought I’d post it up. It’s from The Late Show with David Letterman. Here are his “Top 10 Yankee Excuses” (for not getting to the World Series):
* Wanted Columbus Day off to get to all the sales.
* Thought series was best 6 out of 11.
* We’ve already missed the first three episodes of “Grey’s Anatomy” — enough is enough.
* Thought Joe Torre told us to give 10 percent.
* Players distracted by erotic text messages from Mark Foley.
* Shouldn’t have switched to the cheaper generic steroids.
* Clubhouse caterer replaced E. coli-tainted spinach with E. coli-tainted lettuce.
* Uh, global warming?
* More focused on how they’re going to get by on a lousy $16 million a year.
* What’s the point? North Korea’s gonna nuke us at any moment.
So I went up to Kansas City this weekend to visit my friends Matt and Anna. I went to see their new place and the Cardinals play the crappy Royals. I hadn’t seen them since their wedding at the end of March so it was nice seeing them. I had a great time there. Kansas City can never compare to the superior St. Louis, but they try. The Cardinals did of course sweep the Royals. That’s right. Royals suck! I got to see 2 Pujols home runs (he hit 3 in the series). Also on Friday night a guy jumped into left field in nothing but his boxers and ran around left field. The batboy tackled him and security ran to the field to take the guy off. That was the funniest thing I have ever seen at a game. I also got to see my friend Nate at Friday night’s game. That was nice as I haven’t seen him for a long time. I also got a $30 pair of shoes from an Adidas store and saw The Da Vinci Code (which was good, but not nearly as good as the book). Overall, the weekend was great. It felt good to get out for a while. Thanks again to Matt and Anna for their hospitality and great brownies.
(13:21:20) Karen: BASEBALL!!
(13:21:20) Mike : Sorry, I ran out for a bit!
(13:21:26) Karen: I LOVE BASEBALL
(13:21:35) Karen: BASEBALL DAY!
(13:21:37) Karen: WOO!
(17:58:55) Mike: and the lord said
(17:58:55) Karen : you’ve got to be kidding me…
(17:58:59) Mike: let there be baseball
(17:59:03) Mike: and the people were happy
(17:59:05) Mike: and he said
(17:59:27) Mike: I bring you bishops and popes, but i’m really a fan of the cardinals
(17:59:39) Mike: and the seats were lined with red
(18:02:13) Mike: and he gave us his son to redeem ourselves and to sacrifice himself for our sins
(18:02:36) Mike: and his cousin Albert, for whom shall be a god among men
(18:02:45) Mike: and the people thanked him
(18:03:22) Mike: and the lord said
(18:04:11) Mike: blessed are thee that honor thy name or possibly can pitch to the outside corner
(18:07:16) Mike: and he said “Though you may walk through the valley of shadows, or to first base, you shall always do so with Ecksteinian speed.”
(18:07:18) Mike: in his name
(18:07:19) Mike: Amen