The Difference Between Red and Blue
Blue States: Home of good schools
Red States: Homeskooled good
Blue States: Favor electric cars Red States: Favor electric chairs
Blue States: Concerned about ballooning deficits' effect on capital markets turning gains into thin air Red States: Concerned about whether it's demons that make balloons float in thin air
Blue States: Favor institutionalized health care for the poor Red States: Favor institutionalizing the poor
Blue States: After the 9/11 attacks, put coffins in the ground Red States: After the 9/11 attacks, put magnetic flags on the car
Blue States: Forget that God did not give Adam a Steve Red States: Forget that not only did God give Abraham three wives, He gave Solomon 300 concubines
Blue States: Enormous cities that serve as the engines of human progress Red States: Enormous Hummers that serve as the engines for Arab oil
Blue States: Provide the "tax" part of "tax and spend" Red States: Provide the "spend on a new 8-lane highway to link a Wal-Mart to the Olive Garden" part of "tax and spend"
Blue States: Believe we're all brothers and sisters under the skin. Red States: Don't mind if we're brothers and sisters under the sheets.
Blue States: Fighting to clean up skid row Red States: Fighting to clean up skid marks
Blue States: Concerned about global warming Red States: Don't like to travel and are too fat to fit in an airline seat anyway, so glad to hear that the tropics are coming to Texas. Yee-haw!
Blue States: Follow Jesus, but doesn't believe in Him Red States: Believe in Jesus, but doesn't follow Him
Blue States: Want to repeal the Patriot Act Red States: Want to repeal the Emancipation Proclamation
Blue States: Favor drafting annoying laws on assault rifles Red States: Assault annoying in-laws with rifles after being drafted
Blue States: Want the right for everyone to worship as they choose Red States: Want the right to choose everyone's worship
Blue States: Want a rational energy policy Red States: Want policy of energetic irrationalism
Blue States: Used benefits to assist victims on account of attacks Red States: Used attacks to benefit Toby Keith's bank account
Blue States: Watched friends in New York die in foxy attacks on America Red States: Attack New York on Fox for not being friends of America
Blue States: Believe God loves us and gave everyone free will to be different Red States: Believe God willed us to freely hate everyone different
Blue States: Believe in Mr. Darwin's theory of "Evolution" Red States: Believe in Mr. Jesus' "Talking Snake" theory
Blue States: Slave to pay inheritance taxes Red States: Inherited slaves
Blue States: Buy art Red States: Collect Beanie Babies