This was stolen from Mike Goodspeed. It’s rather brilliant, I think.

(13:21:20) Karen: BASEBALL!!
(13:21:20) Mike : Sorry, I ran out for a bit!
(13:21:26) Karen: I LOVE BASEBALL
(13:21:35) Karen: BASEBALL DAY!
(13:21:37) Karen: WOO!
(17:58:55) Mike: and the lord said
(17:58:55) Karen : you’ve got to be kidding me…
(17:58:59) Mike: let there be baseball
(17:59:03) Mike: and the people were happy
(17:59:05) Mike: and he said
(17:59:27) Mike: I bring you bishops and popes, but i’m really a fan of the cardinals
(17:59:39) Mike: and the seats were lined with red
(18:02:13) Mike: and he gave us his son to redeem ourselves and to sacrifice himself for our sins
(18:02:36) Mike: and his cousin Albert, for whom shall be a god among men
(18:02:45) Mike: and the people thanked him
(18:03:22) Mike: and the lord said
(18:04:11) Mike: blessed are thee that honor thy name or possibly can pitch to the outside corner
(18:07:16) Mike: and he said “Though you may walk through the valley of shadows, or to first base, you shall always do so with Ecksteinian speed.”
(18:07:18) Mike: in his name
(18:07:19) Mike: Amen