Do You Have the Time?

After being watch-less for about a year I finally decided to get the battery replaced on my watch. I didn’t want to make the trip to the mall. I detest that place. It’s full of annoying cell-phone people trying to get me to change my service provider, annoying high school boys, even more annoying middle school girls, and slow old people. Well, I couldn’t think of any place that would replace a watch battery besides a place like Target. I run into Target only to be told that they will only install a new battery if it was purchased at Target. I don’t remember where I purchased my watch, but I know it’s not a Target watch. So, it looks like I’m heading to the mall after all.

So I make the trip up to the mall. It wasn’t as bad as usual there because it was the middle of the day during the week. Though many schools were still out on winter break, I tried to get up and go before the lazy high schoolers would be waking up. I get there and the guy tells me it will be $15.95 for the replacement. The battery costs what, $3 at the most? That means the other $13 went towards paying for his labor, all 2 minutes of it, literally. Wish I got $6.50 a minute in my job. That would be nice. Anyway, he hands me back my watch and I inspect it. He set the date, the day, month, and time in those two minutes. I confirmed the correct time with his giant clock and some other watches at the stand. This guy was good, he disassembled my watch, replaced the battery, and set all the proper time functions in two minutes. I paid and was on my way, with nothing but time on my hands… err, wrist. I get home, trying to get used to the weight on my wrist again, and notice something. The time is wrong! My watch was a good 5 minutes slow to every clock in my room. My alarm clock, the clock on my computer, DVR, and my phone. So my question is, how can a guy who’s sole purpose is keeping the correct time not have the correct time? It was his time, his clocks and watches that were wrong. They were five minutes off. I don’t have much faith in a time keeper who can’t keep time. What’s next, arsonist fire-fighters? Fat exercise instructors? Good pop singers? The world might as well end. At least I’ll know the proper time when it does.