You are a Bad Parent
Yes, I’m talking to you. You are a bad parent. You don’t discipline your kids, you let them run around and annoy the crap out of everyone, you tell them not to do something only to allow them to do it. What gives?
I hate going to public places where there are kids (ages 2-10 at most places, ages 12+ at movie theaters). Kids these days receive no discipline from the parents. They run around like a bunch of crazy idiots and whine until they get what they want. And they will. They always do. Fifty years ago you wouldn’t see the kind of lack of discipline you see today in public places. We’ve not evolved to ignore discipline in order to survive over the past 50 years. We just have parents who won’t tell their kids no. You can read all the books you want, but I guarantee you need to say no once in a while. Heck, more than one in a while. Too many of you want to be your kid’s friend. Well, you know what, you’re the parent. If you wanted to be friends with a kid then you shouldn’t have had one and instead gone to hang out at the park, though some people might find that a little creepy. And don’t give in when they whine, because then you lose the upper-hand and these soul-less beasts will own you. When you’re out in public, keep your kids on a short leash. I don’t mean that literally. Seeing a kid on a leash makes me want to smack the parent. I mean it figuratively. Make them behave themselves and give them real consequences for not doing so. Empty threats do not work and they will soon realize that and you will have just made the next 15 years of your life a living hell as a carpet for your kid to walk on.
I was ranting about kids today with my friend Trix. We decided on one fundamental rule. No kids in public after 7:00PM. Well, she said restaurant, but I want this to apply to malls, stores, movie theaters, everything. What about on the weekends? Well, on the weekends kids must be kept under constant adult supervision. You hear that bad parents? You must watch your kids! Shocking, I know. If all you kid-having people would follow these rules, along with disciplining your kid, society would be a much better place.
Be sure to re-read this when you have a ten year old. :)
not gonna happen. I do not want kids, nor do I plan on having any.
Pretty easy to tell other people what to do with their own kids then, eh? Walk a mile in their shoes, and all that.
i’m just speaking as someone who is annoyed by kids who don’t know how to behave. If you have kids who do not know how to behave, who don’t have manners, and don’t respect others, then I’d say something is going wrong there. (and for the record, everything I’ve ever read about your kids on your blog, they appear to be very lovely kids, which is a reflection of their upbringing)
Thanks for the kind words, Mike. I’m not trying to be a pissant, but as a parent, and as someone who made comments like yours prior to becoming a parent, I think it’s unfair to make the kind of judgments you’ve made above.
Sure, there are kids that are ill mannered. Sure, there are parents that aren’t engaged in their kids’ lives. But the job of parenting is complex and exhausting. It’s a delicate balance between guiding your kids along the path of life, micro-managing people who are often lazy, and letting them figure things out for themselves without getting hurt or killed in the process. Sometimes we parents need to let our kids make a scene or act poorly on their own so that they can learn a lesson from the results.
Kids are not pets or property — they are living, breathing individuals. It’s all too easy to say “control your kid,” as though you can send them to obedience school as you might a dog. The kind of control you suggest is oftentimes damaging to (what I consider) the healthy upbringing of a child: I don’t want to control my kids. That’s not the relationship I wish to have with my children.
And, speaking from experience, many kids have very real challenges that make total obedience physically impossible. It’s not always the kid’s fault that she acts out or behaves inappropriately: if the kid could choose they likely would behave differently. Maybe the kid forgot to take their medicine, or maybe they haven’t yet been diagnosed as needing medical treatment.
It would be nice if folks without kids could keep these things in mind as they pass judgment on those of us with kids. A little compassion goes a long way toward making the world a better place.
Yes, I know too well that having total obedience is impossible. I’ve dealt with students this year who have forgotten to take their medicine or haven’t been diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, or other behavioral disorders (when it is obvious to everyone BUT the parents). Those circumstances are sad and I don’t blame the parents or the kids.
I was actually thinking about this topic last night and my beef isn’t with the vast majority of people (though it seems it’s heading that way more and more). My beef is with the exception to the rule. You’re in Target and you see a few kids that annoy you, not every kid. It’s obvious the ones that annoy you are going to stick out in your mind than the ones who weren’t doing anything and get forgotten about two seconds later. I could just have bad luck with where I go and there always being a kid acting up. Maybe kids acting up these days is a result of higher divorce rates, overpopulated schools, violence and video games on tv. I don’t know. I do know that you can almost always tell when a kid is acting up on one of those rare occasions compared to one that is a constant nuisance, even in those 2 minutes you see them in Target. As for passing judgment, your kids are a reflection of how they are raised.
If parents are so happy to accept the judgment of being good parents when people comment on their kids, then they should take the opposite too. It works both ways. Can’t have one without the other.
Being a good parent is extremely difficult. I can’t even imagine what it’s like… and I don’t pretend to.
However, I think I’m allowed to be annoyed with going to a restaurant for an evening with adults… only to find a room full of families at 9:00 at night. So, we decide to be proactive and ask for a table in the bar area. Guess what? A group of moms and their children come in and don’t want to wait for a table in the main dining area (because it’s so late)… so they sit in the bar next to us. Then WE get dirty looks regarding our conversation topics. You’re in a BAR with CHILDREN… give me a break.
While there are many wonderful parents out there with good common sense, there seems to be a growing number of parents who view their children as accessories or pets. Dress them up, drag them along, and throw them a treat when they make noise. It’s very sad.