I’ve been wanting to write a post for a couple days but didn’t really know what to write about. Luckily, Plinky has plenty of prompts. There was one in particular that struck my fancy: If you were a famous rapper, who would be in your posse? If I’m gonna have a posse, I’m gonna go all out.

Posse Man #1: The Body Guard
– I can think of only one person for such a role. He’s one of the meanest, and biggest, guys to ever walk the earth. I’m talking about Mr. Andre the Giant. This large brute dominated WWF wrestling (when it was still WWF) and even thrilled millions of kids in the wonderful movie The Princess Bride. No one would mess with Andre.

Posse Men #2 and #3: The Credibility Men – If I’m going to have a posse, I’m going to need some credibility so all the player haters know I’m fo’ real. I can think of 2 people in the hip hop world that would be perfect sponsors, Jay-Z and Russell Simmons. Jay-Z is one of the biggest rap stars in history. As he says, he’s not a business man, he’s a business, man! How would you not want him in your posse. Plus with him in the posse that automatically inducts Beyonce. As for Russell Simmons, he made hip hop what it is today. He marketed hip hop to the mainstream that wasn’t ready for it. He built hip hop’s most successful record label, Def Jam, from the ground up. You have to have respect for that.

Posse Men #4, #5, #6, and #7: The party guys – The 4-7 guys in my posse are the ones that every dude wants to hang out with. They are the ones you won’t to go out and get wasted with and the ones that will make you laugh non-stop. I’m talking about Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, and Seth Rogen.

Posse Man #8: The Tech Guy – I need someone to make sure I have all the hottest technology. Bill Gates? Hell no! I want good technology. Steve Jobs, come on down! You are now part of my posse. I’ll have the latest Apple gadget before anyone else with Steve Jobs in my posse. Envy me.

Posse Man #9: The Prez – Last, but certainly not least, in my posse would be President Obama. He’s smart, charismatic, the leader of the military, and has the Secret Service in case Andre the Giant has to hit the bathroom or needs a nap. He’s the ultimate posse man to have. Anything you need or want, he can get it. Plus he’s got that whole Air Force one thing going for him.

So there you have it, there’s my posse. I think I covered all the bases pretty well. I don’t think I could go wrong with this posse. Anyone know how to get in contact with them all and inform them they are now in my posse? Who would be in your posse?

In case you were wondering where the title of the post came from, it comes from the outstanding song of the same title by Extended Famm from their album Happy Fuck You Songs