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I’m loving the moves that the St. Louis Cardinals are making this year. In the face of a struggling pitching staff, roller coaster hitting performances, and general fan unease, the Cardinals have made some very noteworthy additions to the team. First we picked up Aaron Miles, one of the best lawn gnomes to ever play the game. Then we signed the .213 slugger Randy Winn, making St. Louis the 5th team that didn’t really want him but signed him anyway. Hot off the signing of former Cardinal Aaron Miles, and picking up Randy Winn, the Cardinals decided to sign a struggling former Cardinal pitcher, Jeff Suppan.

Jeff Suppan is coming back to the St. Louis Cardinals.

He will be joining the team in Phoenix and hopes to be active early next week. He will be signing for the pro-rated minimum, his agent Scott Leventhal said.

Suppan has not officially signed yet because the Cardinals have to work out some issues with the 40-man roster.

He was released by the Brewers on Monday after going 0-2 with a 7.84 ERA in 15 games.

Suppan pitched for the Cardinals from 2004-06 and was 44-26 with a 3.85 ERA, the best 3-year span in his career. He was the MVP in the 2006 NLCS, winning Game 7 over the Mets.

Suppan signed with the Brewers as a free agent in December of 2006. He was 29-36 with a 5.08 ERA in Milwaukee.

He is 35. STLToday

The Cardinals aren’t stopping there though. No, rumor has it that they are in talks of signing even more has-been players. After being petitioned by fans to get Jack Clark off the air, the Cardinals have signed him to a year long contract as a bench player. Also, negotiations are well under way with Dizzy and Daffy Dean‘s corpses. They are expected to join the Cardinals for the Seattle series.

I love the writing of Rescue Me a lot and I also love baseball so it’s no surprise that I think the following monologue nails it on the head.

Anyway, baseball and life, one in the same. Everybody always says that life is too short. Bullshit. Life, unless you get cancer or hit by a bus or set on fire, takes forever. Just like baseball. It’s a series of long, mind-boggling boring stretches of time where absolutley nothing happens. So, you take a nap, and then, after a little while, when that crisp crack of the bat hittin’ the ball, so crisp you could almost smell that wood burning, jolts you awake and you open your eyes to see something so exciting and intricate, and possibly, very, very meaningful has just happened, but you missed it ’cause you were just so goddamn bored in the first place. Oh, you know, a couple of hot dogs, throw in some beers, the occasional blow job, and that’s that.

While reading an article about the lack of black players in baseball I posed a question to my coworker. The exchange went as follows:

shep: do the cardinals have a single black player on their team?
Coworker: don’t think so
Coworker: well brendan ryan kinda
shep: lol

For those who might not understand why that is funny, pictured below is Brendan Ryan.

Obviously the media is abuzz with news that former St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire has admitted to using steroids. For most people this comes as no surprise. After the investigation by Congress and numerous accusations of some of baseball’s top players, it would be hard to find anyone who didn’t think that he didn’t use steroids at some part of his career. I really don’t have much to say on the subject besides, who cares?

McGwire was from a different time in baseball. The ’80’s and ’90’s were full of ‘roided ballplayers and no one seemed to care. Major League Baseball looked the other way. Why should they care when players and owners were making money hand-over-fist? Baseball is a very different game now. If Albert Pujols was found to have used steroids it would be a huge blow to the game, especially in a time where they actually are looking for players who may use and it’s assumed that all players are not using. Baseball wasn’t always like that. Look at McGwire, Giambi, Conseco, Bonds. It’d be hard to look at those guys and not know. We did know, we just didn’t care.

That’s not to say that McGwire didn’t do anything wrong. Because other players were using doesn’t make it any less of an offense for McGwire to use. The past is the past though. I still contend that McGwire did more good for the game of baseball than he did harm. After the players strike baseball saw a huge drop in attendance. The home run race of 1998 got people interested in the game again. There was an excitement in the air that I never experienced prior or since. Everyone was excited to see McGwire and Sosa go at it. It brought people back to the game and made fans out of newcomers.

Some people are saying that McGwire is only coming because he thinks it will help his chances in the Hall of Fame. I disagree. He is now the Cardinals hitting coach and there is no way that he would be able to do his job without addressing the issue. He did it with class (a lot more class than how he handled his testimony before Congress). He has nothing to be ashamed of in that aspect. I respect him for finally owning up to his past. I think the matter is settled and all his focus should be on helping the Cardinals be the best they can be in the upcoming season.

To quote Network, I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m boycotting the St. Louis Cardinals. Yesterday’s events were the final straw. In case you weren’t aware, the Cardinals acquired relief pitcher Blaine Boyer from Atlanta. What’s so bad about this? Well, let me give you some stats. The Cardinals relief pitchers have a combine ERA of 4.98. Atlanta, the team that Boyer came from, had a combined ERA of 7.36, and that was without Boyer. Boyer is so bad, that he could even make the pitching staff of a club that has an ERA of over 7! Yet the Cardinals want to add him to their relief staff. Oh yeah, and Boyer, on his own, has an ERA of 40 this season. Yes, 40. On top of that, he hasn’t actually had a decent pitching season in years. I guess he’s the perfect addition to a pitching staff full of injuries and weak arms.

The Cardinals’ front office has shown this past year that they don’t care to improve the team. They just want to take your hard earned money and pocket it instead of making a team that can win. What is even worse is now they are actively making trades that are bound to make the team worse. Why should I give over my hard-earned money to line the pockets of the front office instead of supporting a team that can win. If they were trying to improve the team and they were losing, that would be one thing, but they aren’t. John Mozeliak needs to be fired before he’s run out of town. I will not pay for a Cardinals ticket until the Cardinals organization get their acts together. They refuse to spend money, so I refuse to spend mine.