I hate texting. I think it’s stupid, pointless, and annoying. That being said, there are millions of people who do nothing but text so I find myself on the receiving end of a text message or two. Before you send your text, remember that not everyone has texting plans, especially in the age of smart phones and data plans. If I must get texts from you, follow these rules of texting etiquette.

1. If it’s really, really important, call me. Chances are, if it’s that important, more information will be needed and the situation can be best explained via a phone call than a text.

2. If it’s not that important, email me. Pretty much every phone has email now. Texting was good pre-smartphone, but now it’s unnecessary.

3. If you find that you can’t abide by either 1 or 2, make your text short and to the point. I don’t need to receive 3 texts in a row of you telling me a story.

4. Proofread your texts before you send. I don’t want to reply to your text asking why you’re going to “grab and lick my butt her” when you meant “grab a stick of butter.” Autocomplete is not always your friend.

5. Don’t send unnecessary replies. I don’t need you to reply with “k” or “bye.” Hell, even if I thank you for something you don’t need to reply saying “yw.” That’s implied. You’re wasting my time.

Follow these rules and we’re good. If you don’t follow them, don’t expect a text back.